If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
