You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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