Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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