Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
