i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
