if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
