Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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