i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
