...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
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i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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