I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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