just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
