They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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