"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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