apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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