Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
