covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
