Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize