wanna go halves on a baby?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize