I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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