she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
