he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
