dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she looked like the before picture.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
