I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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