Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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