Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
