"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
