from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize