just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
