I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
this will be a night to untag.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
