Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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