so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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