dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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