What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
