Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize