i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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