Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My room smells like vodka and shame
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He better not be in your backpack
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
