Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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