either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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