he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize