His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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