Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
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Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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