I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
