i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
