my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
