i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
