Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
