i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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