so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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