Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
