I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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