Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
