He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
