I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
