U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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