so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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