i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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