Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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