So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Farmville is her only friend.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
