The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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